When Superman Was President
You didn’t really think you’d escape from presidential politics on this site, did you? Today we take a look at Superman in the White House (Superman #112, July 1958), written by Otto Binder with art by Al Plastino.
We open with Perry White assigning Lois Lane and Clark Kent to write stories on famous presidents as part of the Daily Planet’s celebration of Patriot’s Day. Being an editor of great imagination and forever mindful of his duty to keep things interesting for his readers, Perry makes the courageous choice to focus on George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. Jimmy Olsen eagerly asks who he should write about and Perry answers, “There are thirty other presidents for you to choose from. Tell me your choice when I return from lunch!” (Unspoken: “Not like I’m ever going to print it, anyway, you loser.”) I can never quite shake the feeling here that Perry suddenly exits for “lunch” to avoid admitting that, like most Americans, Washington and Lincoln are the only presidents he can name.
Jimmy weighs his options (encouragingly, he can list at least three other presidents from American history) as he straightens a picture of Superman on Perry’s office wall and thinks how cool it would be if Superman were president. In a classic Jimmy Olsen move, he somehow manages to drop the picture on the back of his head and is knocked cold. Then we enter Jimmy’s dream, wherein Superman is indeed elected Chief Executive (his party affiliation is diplomatically withheld, but he wins with the “largest plurality in history!” One sympathizes with the poor schmuck who was talked into running against him). Superman names Clark Kent as his vice president and makes Jimmy his press secretary.
Superman’s secret service detail is frustrated by the President of Steel’s tendency to fly out the Oval Office window for a “breath of fresh air.” Their efficiency is pretty suspect anyway, considering President Superman is attacked by no less than three would-be assassins with knives, machine guns and bombs on a single stroll, and all in broad daylight on the White House lawn. Clark Kent resigns the vice presidency, saying “I saw that from the window!” You might expect he’s resigning out of cowardice (though who could blame him, considering 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in this story makes Fallujah look like Mayberry, NC), but in fact he’s quitting because if no one can ever kill the president, then what’s the use of being vice president? (If Jimmy was a reporter worth his salt, he’d check into the possibility Kent hired the assassins!)
The pressing issues of the day are no great challenge for a super-president. To save the taxpayers on fuel costs, Superman flies his staff to meetings by pushing Air Force One (or what passes for it here) through the air. A million admirers visit the White House and at super-speed Superman shakes the hands of every one of them (fulfilling a duty Jimmy is convinced is required by law).
When a new ship fails to launch, Superman performs the deed by hand. Tasked with being in two places at once, Superman throws out the first ball at a baseball game in DC, hurling it around the Earth to open a simultaneous game in Tokyo. Then there’s a real challenge as the national deficit hits the astonishing sum of $387 million (a little less than the box office for “Superman Returns“). Understanding the need for efficient government and fiscal responsibility, Superman bails out the country by retrieving treasure from a sunken pirate ship.
For his efforts, Superman apparently becomes the first sitting president to get his image on postage stamps and U.S. currency. But of course it’s all too good to be true, and Jimmy wakes up to find that not only is Superman not president, but he never can be, as he was not born in the U.S. and is thus ineligible for office. It’s a cute ending, and one that teaches kids a useful fact about the presidency, but it doesn’t do to think about it too long, as you’ll realize Superman is in this country as an undocumented alien.
When Leo The Lion Records put together their album, “The Official Adventures of Superman,” this story was one of only four selected for audio dramatization. Renamed “President Superman,” it features Bob Holiday as the Man of Steel. Give it a listen if you get a chance, and remember to exercise your right as a U.S. citizen and vote! (If you’re still undecided, you can always write in “Superman”).
